Shoes

 I decided to stop tying my shoes. I thought, "Why knot?" #lamejoke

Army

I wanted to know what the lowest rank in the army is, but no one would tell me. Apparently, it's private. #lamejoke

Proximity

Are you someone who has to be around people all the time? You're not alone. #lamejoke 

Medicine

I hear that there's a new medicine you can get that cures scepticism. I'm not buyin' it. #lamejoke

Bread

My wife asked me if she should learn any new bread recipes. I told her no need. #lamejoke

Spiders

In Iran, everyone is very afraid of spiders, but Iraq, no phobia. #lamejoke

Knitting

There's a guy going around stabbing people with knitting needles. The police say he may be following a pattern. #lamejoke

Broccoli

The difference between broccoli and boogers? Not every kid will eat broccoli. #lamejoke

Hill

 The toilet paper rolled down the hill to get to the bottom. #lamejoke

Crayons

Nurses like red crayons because sometimes they have to draw blood. #lamejoke

Name

The name Frodo really has a ring to it. #lamejoke

Saturday

I hear that National Diarrhea Awareness Week runs thro' next Saturday…. #lamejoke

Band

They needed a fourth member for the fisherman rock and roll band, so Joey played the castanets. #lamejoke

Frostbite

Joey's doctor was trying to describe the treatment plan for his frostbite. He couldn't picture it, so she showed him a faux toe. #lamejoke

Vacation

Yesterday I put a world map on the wall in the kitchen, gave my wife a dart, and said, "Throw this and, wherever it lands, I'll take you there for a vacation." Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge. #lamejoke

Painting

The competitive painting contest might have been a failure as it ended in a draw. #lamejoke

Neck

Last year wasn't much fun for Joey as he had a broken neck. But at least now he can look back and laugh. #lamejoke

Money

I took some money off the wall. Now I hear my wife saying, "Where's wall dough?" #lamejoke

Flashlight

 In the dark is where a flashlight really shines. #lamejoke

Newspaper

I ran out of toilet paper, so I had to use old newspapers. The Times are rough. #lamejoke