Joey wants to have rhinoplasty. It's the only way his wife won't mind him picking his nose. #lamejoke

Got my best friend a fridge for his birthday. I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it. #lamejoke

It’s hard for fisheries to find insurance. Most policies don’t cover acts of Cod. #lamejoke

Vandals have attacked the National Origami Museum in Tokyo. I'll keep you updated as the story unfolds. #lamejoke

My wife and I were arguing about which vowel was most important. I won. #lamejoke 

The tire store was having a blowout sale. #lamejoke

A friend said that I couldn't think of a pun about an ocean full of night birds. Owl just have to sea about that.... #lamejoke

I heard that now you can print a gun off a 3D printer, but I'm not impressed. I’ve had a Canon printer for years. #lamejoke

I wanted to make my fortune creating perfumes, but I only made a few scents. #lamejoke

A number and a letter were having a race. About half-way, the number was leading by 30 yards. Go figure. #lamejoke

My wife is an incredible cook. Apparently, she has supperpowers. #lamejoke

I finally quit my job at the lollipop factory. So long, suckers! #lamejoke

When they used bleach to clear a dark, wet corner, they broke the mold. #lamejoke

My wife and I were talking about people owning strange animals and she said, “I’ve always wanted to get a manatee.” I said, “Thank you very much, I’ll have it with milk and two sugars please.” #lamejoke

The robot became sentient by thinking outside the box. #lamejoke

Joey's wife left him when he became a contortionist. He should be sad, but he's knot. #lamejoke

Joey skipped school to go bungee jumping with his friends. He got suspended. #lamejoke

Scrabble is all fun and games until someone loses an "i". #lamejoke

What do you say of a young man living in Idaho that does something unintelligent? Boise stupid. #lamejoke

If you were to touch 250 volts at once, what happens next might shock you. #lamejoke

Ran the floor sander for hours today. Feels like I only scratched the surface. #lamejoke

You got promoted from captain to a higher rank? I bet that major day! #lamejoke

Joey lost his job in the oil and gas industry because of all these wind farms. Needless to say, he's not a big fan. #lamejoke

The wig shop went out of business because people didn't want toupee. #lamejoke

Never hitchhike after dark. That's my rule of thumb. #lamejoke

I saw an advertisement for hair implants. It was a shameless plug. #lamejoke

I had a dream where I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like 0mg. #lamejoke

Woke up to a loud noise this morning. I was alarmed. #lamejoke