A Swede wouldn’t make a good Beatles song, but a Norwegian would. #lamejoke

So then there's the one about the aspiring thief who enters the theatre and steals the spotlight. #lamejoke

My flat-Earther friend decided to walk to the edge of the world to prove it's flat. In the end, he came around. #lamejoke

Joey's girlfriend likes wine and cheese, but she hates Meatloaf. I guess two out of three ain't bad. #lamejoke

Neil Diamond has just bought his new car, a Saab, on eBay. Or, in other words, he got a Swede car online. #lamejoke

When an escaped prisoner was caught camping out in the woods it was a clear case of criminal in tent. #lamejoke

I like grandfather clocks. Big time. #lamejoke

I think I'm going to hire the same landscaper I used last year. He was really easy to get a lawn with. #lamejoke

My wife is furious at our next door neighbor who sunbathes topless in her backyard. Personally, I'm on the fence.... #lamejoke

I don't normally post puns about fractions, but I will if I have two. #lamejoke

We had a new air conditioning system installed. It's really cool. #lamejoke

I'm looking for some good fish puns. If any come to mind, let minnow. #lamejoke

An almost enlightened Buddhist was working on the set of Wheel of Fortune. It was near-Vanna. #lamejoke

Joey's wife is really upset that he has no sense of direction, so he packed up his stuff and right. #lamejoke

I hate it when the grammar police single me out. It seems like a which hunt. #lamejoke

The two doritos who were in love were happily in a relationchip. #lamejoke

Do you think oranges are willing to become juice, or are they pressed into it? #lamejoke

When I told my wife that we were out of protein powder, she replied, "No whey!" #lamejoke

He who farts in church sits in his own pew. #lamejoke

Just to be clear, Joey uses acne medication. #lamejoke

The pregnant bedbug gave birth in the spring. #lamejoke

Four chickens escaped from a slaughter house by riding out on the back of a sheep. They're still on the lamb. #lamejoke

I was friends with a guy that cross bred insects. I liked him at first, but I soon got tired of his ant ticks. #lamejoke

His lot in life was to create the world's greatest mosquito repellent. He had a DEET with destiny. #lamejoke

I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail. #lamejoke

Nothing tops a plain pizza. #lamejoke

I took a chance on a used food processor, but no dice. #lamejoke

I hate to be a party pooper. But when you gotta go, you gotta go. #lamejoke

An architect friend of mine made millions by inventing the upside down house. It is a top cellar. #lamejoke

My wife likes to bake. When I asked her to teach me how to make yeast-free bread, she told me that there's no knead. #lamejoke